One year

March 11th. It has been one year since my mom died. I miss her more in ways now than I did in the beginning and less in some. I find myself thinking about her at odd times. I think how much she would have enjoyed being with us as David went to the temple last night for the first time. Yet I know she was there. I felt her as I drove home. I felt her arms around me as she said the same thing she often said to us. "You are doing a great job with your kids" and I replied out loud...as I was driving alone in my car... "It's not me that is doing a great job. Its my kids that are doing a great job!" I am just honored to be part of their lives. I went today to the grave and left some gerber daisys. I so wish I could hand them to her personally. I know she would love them. I have a lot of regrets today of the things I didn't do when she was alive. It seems I understand her better now than I did then. She was an honorable women who always...at all cost...put her children first. I feel like an ungrateful child. I didn't realize how much she sacrificed for us until now and I am sure I don't even know that half of it. I think its better that way too. I don't think I could take the guilt. Sometimes my children do things or say things that remind me of her. I love that they have some of her qualities. So today I am taking the day to be sad and to mourn "my personal pitty party" Though I know that some of you are having your own as well. I am not quite sure how to get myself out of this except that I do have a great life with a wonderful husband and children. So if you are reading this think of someone you love and do something for them while you can...gerber daisys are nice...